What Is Judgment – How To Stop Judging

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Judgment… What is it? And how it keeps us imprisoned and stuck in an undesirable life.

I believe we teach what we most need to learn… Let me share with you – what I have learned so far and keep discovering about judgment.

How it keeps us from experiencing and expressing our full potential…

 

I hope you find this article inspirational and helpful on your journey.

What Is Judgment And How You Learned It?

I see judgment as a way to compare and contrast situations, people, events, etc. with a set of beliefs we learned.

These beliefs might of bin formed before you even knew how to filter someone else’s ideas. Eventually, beliefs passed down to you in the form of emotion, that is brought out in a particular situation, event, circumstance, etc.

For example, you see a stranger on the street that dressed a certain way, and all of a sudden – your brain triggers an emotional response(judgment) based on your conditioning about this particular closing style.

Possibly when you were a little child, your mom has told you that wearing a short skirt is inappropriate and only “slutty” girls dress like that. Believe it or not, you were preconditioned to believe that girls who dress like that are “sluts.” Ouch…

Thankfully as we grow up, we start to see a bigger picture of the world and unlearn those beliefs that do not serve us.

 

Why We Judge Ourselves and Others?

We judge because we feel that’s “the only thing” at the moment that will give us validation to our belives.  Most of the time it happens unconsciously and on autopilot…

Next time stop and notice what made you judge someone or something. You will be amazed at how silly our judgmental decisions are.

Judging will never be our way out into happiness. When we judge, we automatically accept that there is a difference between you and me, that or the other. But when you learn to look at situations without judgment, you will lose the urge to be critical of others.

Have you tried to stop the judgment, but you seem to fail at it doesn’t matter how hard you try?

The good news, there is a way to stop this horrible habit if you are willing to be ok with not being right all the time.

If you find need to judge others(need to be right), remember, you only judging because there is a part of you that still believes it deserves the judgment.

We judge others to point out their flaws to cover up our own “imperfections.” We point a finger to others to prevent being accused or ridiculed.

We are scared to admit that we have insecurities and fears, and because of that, we feel a need to defend ourself in the form of judgment.

 

How To Stop Judging?

You can’t entirely stop judging because we need some discernment in our life so we can make the necessary daily choices.

But if you ready… and wish to learn how to prevent an unwanted destructive judgment that cripples you from living your full life…

Here is how:

  • Accept that you have a judgment habit that no longer serves you.

All habits can be changed, so is your disturbing pattern of judgment.

  • Take a very close look at your insecurities and see what part in you needs your acceptance, and start there.

Pay attention to your self-judgment.

We can’t judge others if we fully accept our imperfections for what they are. You were made uniquely with all of our “flaws” and “imperfections” to experience life as it is.

  • Don’t be afraid of your flaws. We all do have them! They are the “perfect imperfections” that got us where we are now!

And if you no longer wish to experience life a certain way, you can always make the necessary changes to your belief system. But judging yourself and others will only be reflected in the form of destructive surroundings, that need to be judged or rejected.

  • Interact with others without attaching any judgment.

We all have our own set of beliefs. Allow others to have theirs. You can’t change what others believe by judging. So, why bother?

After all, you can’t stop judging until you change how you believe about judging itself.

You are a writer of your own life story… You get to choose to judge or to accept!

Are you ready to live your story where judgment has no room at all?

 

No Judgment For Just 7 Days – See What Happens

I challenge you to experience a week of non-judgment.

For just short seven days, be mindful of your daily judgment patters.

It doesn’t matter if you keep slipping up and find yourself judging again, remind yourself very so kindly to accept present moment just as it is.

You will be amazed by how your week will become more peaceful and calm without the need to be right.

And soon, you will find your life, mindfull…

I wish you the best on your journey!

 

XX and Love,

Irina Kirilyuk

 

P’S.

If you are looking for practical Mindfulness Exercises that you can implement in your life today – Get Free 40-day Mindfulness journey program that will assist you on your journey. 

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Why Am I Depressed and Not Happy? What Is Wrong With Me?

Why I am depressed?

Do you really want to know?

Just a quick disclaimer. I am not a medical doctor, and this blog post is my observation and personal reflection on what so-called “depression” really is…

So many of us, I included, faced this emotion very closely. And many of us fell into this so deep… that at times it might have felt like there is no end to this state of existence.

I am here to let you know, just like you can heal a broken bone, you can recover your mind from this suffering state. I believe depression is not a sickness or disease at all…

Some of you might feel uncomfortable at first reading this…  And maybe even unease as you start realizing that you are so powerful and responsible for your own health and recovery.

But what’s worse?

1. Knowing that you are in charge and can heal yourself or

2. Feeling even more discouraged and hopeless because your therapist can’t see you this week or your medications, just not helping you any longer…

Depression = Suppression

Somehow during our early childhood, we forgot how to properly separate our minds from an event or situation that is already over.

We overlooked that life happens in this moment only – the present moment. Not yesterday, not when you were three or six yrs old, but it’s right now – as you reading this line…

We learned to operate our minds in the past life or living in the future. And completely forgot how to live… Right now.

Right now – is the only moment from which you can create. If you create from the moment of panic (when you are depressed) you get more of the same…

This vicious cycle you create and play over and over in your head, Western medicine calls it “depression.”

This type of learned behavior keeps you stuck in the suppressed or unsatisfied state. You either feel sorry for what had happened or feeling scarred for the coming days… completely forgetting to live in the real moment.

We can drive our selves crazy for years, giving our life and health into the hands of “medical professionals” who don’t understand (yet) that our body can ultimately heal itself…

“Depression” is just a fancy name for the uncomfortable/undesirable suppressed feeling caused by stuck energy that needs to be felt and released. And YOU the only ONE who can do this! Not your doctor or even your mom.:)

Depression = Suppression,  it can’t survive in the mind that doesn’t judge the past … as well as it can’t reside in the brain that’s not fixated with needing to foretell the future! 

Stop Figuring out the “Why”

Your therapist is trying to figure out the “Why.”  Continuously digging and prying into your past…  you might feel some relief for some time… but further, become reliant on him/her even more.

Seriously,  do you really need to know “Why”?

Do you think it will solve your “depression”? Most definitely, Not… then why not to create a new habit of not needing to figure out the “why”!?

The more you try to figure out the “why,” “get rid off,” or” run away” from it, the more of that you will get… More Suppression!

Stop figuring out “why” you have it or “how” you got it!

You are just doing yourself a massive disservice by playing these loops over and over…  by wanting to know  “Why” is ultimately disempowering your strength to heal.

You can continue this wicked cycle all your life and try to figure out “what is wrong with me.” Don’t waste your precious time… you are not broken!

Put Away Your “Lens of Judgment”

When you get into the state of “darkness,” notice where your mind occupies its space… Is it in the stories and memories or is in the future … making up more imaginary crises?

Pay close attention and observe your mind, allow your presence to be there in the moment without any labels or judgment, just like you would look at the innocent child who is scared and needs your hug.

When you finally get comfortable being inside our own body and learn to set aside your “lens of judgment” every time you get triggered by the past events… Your life will take on a new meaning, and you will rise from the “dark moments.”

You will understand that your so-called “depression” was not your enemy at all, but a gateway and invitation to find out your true self… the self you always pushed away and was afraid to express fully… Your inner child crying out to be seen and understood…

Stop Ignoring your one-year-old

Think about it … When you feel depressed and lonely, what do you usually tend to do? You probably feel a need to isolate yourself…  because intuitively you know that you need to reconnect with that forgotten you… So stop avoiding your fears and don’t be afraid to sit down with your emotions “one on one” and listen without judgment!

Depression is life’s way of letting us know that we need to stop and look deep within… It’s our invitation to look into our fears and finally face them even if it’s scary and disturbing.

Ignoring or suppressing your depression is like neglecting your precious one-year-old child, who is asking for your love and attention.

Take Control and Be Mindful

If not careful, depression can easily be intensified by poor diet, stress, and lack of rest.

Promise yourself always to replenish your body with the right diet, be mindful of your thoughts, let go of the judgment, allow more time for rest, surround yourself with activities and people you love the most.

Your health is in your hands, my friend. No doctor can heal your “depression.” He can try to mask it but never heal it.

You are a powerful healer, and you are your doctor. You know what needs to be done. You know where you have poor habits that need attention. Step out of the denial because you can only expect to get better by taking complete responsibility for your health.

Clean up your diet,  start incorporating mindfulness practice into your day, sit quietly with your “depression.” Don’t try to get rid of it,  mask it, or figure it out… Love it for what it is! Like you would love that little 1-year-old, who’s asking for your love and attention.

Would you get upset and anxious at one-year-old for needing love and attention? I assume, not. Then why are you beating yourself up?

You can fully understand only when you listen – without any judgment… and you can completely heal when you finally allow it to be.

 

You deserve to live a full life Now… Free yourself from your past crippling stories and beliefs. It’s called past for a reason so that it can be released.

 

XX and Love,

Irina Kirilyuk

 

P’S.

*Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor. All suggestions in this article are my own opinions and my research that helped me in my personal life. Please seek professional advice if you feel like you are experiencing deep depression and need medical intervention.

If you are looking for practical Mindfulness Exercises that you can implement in your life today – check out this Free 40-day Mindfulness journey program.

If you found this article helpful, please share and subscribe to my email list.